Wednesday, July 28, 2010

thoughts in a room with my grampa sick in bed--

i don't want to see him.
if i see him it will change the way i will remember him.

what good will i do watching him just lie there?
i've got nothing to ask him or talk to him about.

i'm in the room, he's very skinny now.
he's bandaged up; eyes shut tight, he's clearly in a lot of pain.
hi grampa.
he stares at me; his blue eyes are nearly transparent. 
does he even recognize me? 
he's wearing a goatee.
he's never worn a goatee before.
SEE MY GOATEE would definitely be cheering at him right now.
i can't help but think of other tim & eric skits and songs.
he's now groaning loudly, the nurse is coming in.

i'm feeling somber.
there's a cotton ball in my dry throat.
i leave the room now.

family is something i constantly lose faith in.
drama brewing around.
gossip. arguments. bullshit.
i get angry.
my right eye begins to twitch.
day dreaming is no longer safe.

i pick up AZTEC and begin to read.
it gets late.
i get high/

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